i just think he's neat

sorry for being a loser but Chappell Roan never peaked my interest. this GWAR cover of Pink Pony Club however, is my new favourite thing. 

just Blothar screaming "god what have you done" going over and over in my head. i really like his voice and love his cute piggy snout.

 he is in fact just having fun on the stage in his heels, it's where he belongs.

 

feeling fresh

a few things have lined up in an amazing way and this week i have a new phone, a new laptop and a new sketchbook. 

and that it's at the start of a year is even more cleansing. that delicious fresh year number and moving to a new phone and only moving over the photos taken so far this year (i saved all the other photos, i can't actually get rid of them, obviously). the phone isn't new, it's a hand-me-down from Will who had it as a hand-me-down also but it feels new and weird to me and that's what matters.

i got the laptop from the refurbished bit of ebay and i've installed linux mint onto it. i don't really know what i'm doing so i've kept windows on there for now just in case i can't handle choosing my own operating system but for now i'm feeling kind of proud of myself for trying something a bit scary. and also for having the money to just buy myself a new laptop, i worked so hard to get a part-time job last year and i work so hard to work a part-time job and now i can do things like save up and replace my laptop.

the new sketchbook is a shift to a4 again, it's been a while. a5 makes more sense honestly but every now and then a4 calls to me. it's a seawhite hardback and has a nice blue cover and i look forward to filling it up.

while i was in the art shop getting a sketchbook i also got a new pencil sharpener which might actually be the most important new thing. it's brass and it's one of those things where you don't think anything of an activity until you get to use a really nice tool and then like wow, it's so nice to sharpen pencils.

me with my new sharpener, sketchbook and phone taken on my new laptop webcam

 i'm very excited to use up as much of my art materials as i can this year. i've had a habit for hoarding and also waiting for the right moment and also being too mentally ill to do things and all together i just have a lot of stuff hanging around so i'm going to use it all up. i have some not very nice pencils that i'm working on right now and getting them nice and sharp with my new sharpener just made them seem better somehow. 

we got new carpets too, everything is lining up really weird for a fresh start right now in this exact moment of my timeline. we didn't ask for new carpets, the landlord decided that the upstairs rooms needed them so we had to comply. it's one of those things where i'm grateful to have a landlord that wants our carpets to be of a certain standard and it is nice to know that the carpets are clean and not filled with tiny bits of mould and dust but also we didn't ask for it and it was very overwhelming to have someone come in the house and make a lot of noise and new carpet smells and moving everything from one room into another room that is full of it's own stuff (and then in reverse the next week) and one of the rooms was my studio which as already mentioned is very full of stuff. full of stuff in a way that can make me feel negatively about myself, why am i not using these things, why has that sat there untouched for years...

but the carpet work is finished and now i get to unpack my studio again and i'm not just putting everything back how it was, i'm going to go through every item and only put it back if i really want to. i'll be brutal and it will be great and then i'll make lots of silly art. because it feels good. 

it's empty and overwhelming

 i'm not adding pressure to this list of things i have, i'm just enjoying the freshness and we'll see where it takes me. 

some 2025 stats

 

letterboxd // when i say i like old films and people think i mean the 80's 

 

last.fm // i listened to so much Skeleta (and all Ghost) in the spring that the other stats are too predictable to show but i'd like to special mention dungeon synth as a genre that was big this year and AFI would maybe be higher if i could include listening to cd's on our PS3 (and as always i wish i could include stats from youtube on the tv)

 

storygraph // they took away my mood pie chart and i'll never forgive them

2024

2025

 

digital photo collages from christmas eve, chrstmas day, boxing day and then the end of the year.

2025 was the year i got a part-time job and it used up the small amount of energy i have and everything else about me got lost.

i think i'm being a little overdramatic but that's fine, it's allowed sometimes. have a wallow. so long as you don't get carried away with it. don't focus on the negative version and give it any more power than it has anyway. pat it on the head and let it run it's course.

i'm struggling with job and winter but i'm paying attention to it and working on balance and i'm ok. also this year we adopted an old man baby rat boy. i love him so much.

 

no resolutions for the new year, i'll save that for spring and for now i will concentrate on being kind and gentle to myself and having as much nice fun creative time as i can.