Mechanical Circus

There's been an exhibition on at The Forum called Mechanical Circus since early December and when I saw it announced I was like "ooo we have to make sure we go to that" so fast forward to the last week it's on in January and we finally went. I mean, at least we actually went to this. We either go to things last second or we just miss them entirely. Because we're smart.
Anyway.

It was really fun, they had photo spots and lots of automata, automatons?, moving on their own dudes and there were zoetropes and cool magic, distorted, mirror pictures. I had a good time.

Then we popped into Pret for hot drinks and snacks. They have a matcha latte now! I love a matcha latte, I have no knowledge of how a "good" one should be but the green makes me happy and so does being full of warm, gentle, tea-y milk. I am a cosy egg.

I'll add this video here too because it has some moving footage from the exhibit from about 2:12 :)

Diary Scans

For a while I made art journals and filmed flip through videos but lost interest in that. I made a couple of zines from bits in my diary but stopped halfway through making the third because I wasn't having fun putting it together but also I'd realised I'd turned my diary into work. Unintentionally it had become a place I knew I was going to try and make a zine out of and it wasn't really a diary anymore. I didn't have a private space. So I made the conscious decision to have a diary that I would keep entirely private so I could do whatever I want in it and it just doesn't matter at all and it's the best. I sometimes do something in my diary that I want to share but sharing the things isn't on my mind when I'm in there. It's nice to write and draw and cut and stick and know it's just for me.

Rats Basket

I have three rats and I am OBSESSED with them. My three specifically but also rats in general. It's a problem, they don't live long enough for me to love them this much. It's worth it though, they're perfect.
I started reading Fruits Basket (ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshiloveitsomuch) I'm not very far in but every time there's rat characteristics I lose my shit. The first time this happened was when we find out that Yuki has breathing problems. It's super common for rats to have breathing problems. Two of my rats have breathing problems! And then last night there was this panel of all these other rats turning up.

Rats are so cosy and caring and sociable and seeing them all flock to him is just so right.
I also love love love how she draws them, how their arms and legs just kind of droop in and out of the body like the adorable little bags of cute they are. This manga would be one of my favourites anyway but ohmygosh the added rat-ness is just too much.

On a not rat related note I love the author notes things (do they have a name?) that come with each chapter. Is it a shojo thing? I remember really enjoying them in So Cute as well. It's an opportunity to see the mangaka geek out or just generally share something about themselves and I love it so much (because I'm a nosy bastard), it's almost like a little blog post or something.
I was thinking earlier, I bet you could pick a good manga based on these little additional bits. I reckon if they're full of geek excitement about video games and idols there's a good chance it'll be a manga really worth reading. I'll have to keep reading everything I can get my hands on to test my theory ^^

Moremore

Wow, I didn't post anything here at all in december. I did do vlogmas in december though. Tbh I think making vlogs is why I don't post here so much, I don't have an interesting enough life to have things to say in a video and also here. But I will stubbornly cling to this blog because I love blogs, not the shiny, bland, "inspirational" ones (no offence) but the random person, diary type ones. I know what I mean.
I didn't really want to come here and just do another post about how I'm not posting and declare my grand plans for what I'll do here from now on (and then probably not manage it) but here we are.

2017 was a year of breakdowns. Like wow.
2018 I thought was a year of "whatever, this is just what life is" numbness but towards the end I realised 2018 was actually the year of "figuring stuff out". I don't know how I look from the outside but I basically started again and now I know what I want and I'm making little changes until I get there/trying to realise I'm already somewhere because you can't always be thinking about the next thing and not the now thing. Anyway, 2018 was thoughtful.
2019 will hopefully put 2018 thinking into action. I mean, I am here procrastinating instead of working but I feel like it's an acceptable one. I just got back from the vet and need a moment to re-adjust. This is better than scrolling through twitter without actually reading anything.

2019 is going to be more. I want to do more, make more, see more, more moremore more. I hold myself back and I'm not going to anymore.

I'm also going to pretend no one is reading this (which is almost true) and just do whatever I like with it whenever I like with it. I'm going to take that approach with everything actually. I think I know that my best will come out if I'm just totally free about it so I'm going to try really hard to not let thinking about *what other people might think* or wondering *if people who like my stuff will stop liking my stuff if it changes* stop me and just get on with it.
I'm not holding myself back anymore.

I need to figure out my website/blog/portfolio/shop/online whatever stuff. What do I need and how do I do it? So for now this blog is just a blog. I might share work things I might share personal things I might share nonsense things.
Not holding back.

Happy new year >.<

Colourful and Precious ~ Shop Update

The newest things in my shop!




These patches were fun to make and I love them all together, it's so colourful. When I was making them I was imagining them being the little pop of colour on a denim jacket with other patches or as part of a super bright, decora outfit or even being turned into a necklace or something. It'd be easy to attach a pin to the back to wear it as a badge too.





I need to update more often, it's almost December but here's my Inktober zine! I'm just slow on the blog though, these have been in the shop for a while. These are such precious little handmade zines, as with most handmade stuff photos don't do them justice. They need to be held for maximum precious-ness. The pages are concertina fold made from a stuck together A3 print and the covers are entirely hand drawn and I cover each zine in stickers, inside and out. Each copy is totally one of a kind. I vlogged while I made these which is here if you're interested.



I did these little embroideries a while ago to try out a different type of edging for patches but didn't have any plan for them. They sat in my studio for a while and when I came across them again I thought they were actually quite sweet so I added pins to the back and now they're badges! They're backed with felt and have glue holding the two pieces of fabric together so they're pretty sturdy.



And some stickers. Just some cool dudes having some thoughts. I plan to make a lot more stickers, I love them. The only trouble is deciding what drawings people will want as stickers. I wish I could just print everything.



I made myself a patch too and wanted to take a selfie with it but had put it in the most awkward place. Forever bad at selfies.

A Coping Mechanism

Just a couple of photos from my studio recently. The picture above is painted on cardboard, I'm going to do more, it was really fun. And below are some patches I've been working on. Some of them in progress on the left and the finished pile on the right. I just need to get them photographed for the shop but the light has been baaaaaad today. Hopefully I can sort something out tomorrow.

I've been having a tough week but I look at my little pile of patches and feel proud of the work gone into it and how colourful it is. I hope they will make other people smile too.
To keep my spirits up this week I've been watching a lot of idol music videos on youtube, I recommend it as a coping mechanism.

October

It's weird posting a thing about October a week into November. Everything seems to move so fast now that I feel as though I'm supposed to have posted this during the end of October. I'm sure a lot of that feeling is made up by me though and what's left isn't something I agree with anyway. We can all post whatever we want, whenever we want. It can be cool how fast things come and go but also I like things to hang around for a long time and if I want to draw what happened in October I need October to finish before I start the drawing. So anyway, old person whinging to calm my self doubt aside here's some things from October.
The "it's too late" feelings definitely had an effect on this drawing and I'm not sure if I actually like it and even though it's Friday and days mean next to nothing to my routine, I'm certain it's Saturday and that's making me feel weird and I'm all thrown off balance but I needed to just do it anyway so here it is. Sometimes you get an idea and you have to do it or feel like a failure.
This is all coming out a bit negative but I'm just rambling because I'm doubting myself in various ways but am actually fine, I'm just so certain that it's Saturday.
Those tiny mushrooms were adorable.