Tank's Leg

I don't have any exciting things to share this week, it's been a bit of a weird, stressful one. On Tuesday afternoon at about 4pm we noticed Tank wasn't using his back foot at all. We luckily got him into the vet on the same day (despite some massive and varied fuck ups on behalf of the taxi there and back, well we didn't let the second taxi take us back. I don't want to talk about it but I'm very anxious about taxi's now, yay) and long story short he has to spend a week on his own in the little cage so he can't use his leg too much and he's on some pain medication and beyond that we have to wait and see.

The vet seemed really worried about him but he's doing much better than she thought he would. An hour after the first medicine he was using his leg and since Wednesday morning you wouldn't even know there had been anything wrong with him. Hopefully he'll still be using it fine once he's off the medicine and in a bigger space but we'll have to just wait for now. I feel so sorry for him, he mostly just sleeps all day but every now and then he'll look at you and get all excited because he thinks you're going to let him out and we can't and it breaks my heart. He must be all lonely and confused :( But it's what's best for him at the minute, if it is a fracture or something he'd be making it a lot worse if he was in with the others.

I moved downstairs to work so I could keep Tank company/keep an eye on him (we've been taking it in turns to sleep downstairs too because they're most active at night and we love him too much) and I'm almost done with my pigeon zine. I'm working on some stickers to go with it, I'm pretty excited about it. I'm making some sticker sets myself but I have plans for a fancy additional sticker that I'll be getting printed. Hopefully people will like it, I've been working really hard on it. (and I need money for vet bills (ﾟωﾟ；) heh heh... *wipes sweat from brow*)

I hope your week has been a lot less stressful and had more sleep in it but if not, we're still here right? Look at us, coping and stuff ^_^

Here's a little webcam video of me and Pixel.

Dots and Pigeons ~ This Week's Things

Last week I got Yoshitomo Nara, Nobody's Fool out of the library and it's such a beautiful book. I've been a fan of his work for a while and when I saw this book in the library I was unsure about whether to bring it home. It's huge and I had a 30 min walk but I couldn't leave it behind and I'm so glad I didn't. I'll be sad to give it back. But I will because stealing from the library is lame, I'm looking at you people who have stolen all the witchcraft books. Not very coven-ly of you (•ˋ _ ˊ•)

I started watching Comic Girls, which I just found out is also a four-panel manga so I'll have to look into that. It's about 4 high school girls that are living in a dorm together to draw manga and it's adorable. All the scenes about drawing are especially great and they're just trying to improve at something they really love. Sweetness.



I got fancy new laces for my new (to me) trainers and I've been painting dots on my cardigan. I sorted out all my clothes last week and decided this needed to be more colourful if it was getting kept. It's a slow process, knitted things are difficult to paint and take a long time to dry so I can't turn it over to do more dots until the next day but it's going to be very worth it.



Pigeons are very cool but some people seem to not know that so I'm making a zine about the fact that they're lovely. While googling some pigeon facts I wanted to check I got recommended a pigeon facts video by Commander Holly who I had not heard of before but am now kind of in love with. I love that pigeons led me to someone that also is into craft and games and all that good stuff.

It's september now. I like september, the city gets quiet again when schools go back, the weather has opportunity to be perfect, days aren't super short and cold yet but it starts to be a little autumnal. Looking forward to a cosy time and ramping up my roasted veg intake.

Kid Chameleon and Sylvia Plath ~ This Week's Things

Here are some things from my week ^_^



Because I started reading Sylvia Plath's journals, which is a mammoth book, my manga reading has slowed down a bit but this week I read volume 3 of That Wolf-Boy Is Mine by Yoko Nogiri and I'm really enjoying it. It's about a group of boys who are actually animals disguising themselves as humans and a girl that moves to their school and finds out their secret. I really like how it uses that japanese sneaky animal folklore, it's pretty cute.
As I mentioned I'm reading Sylvia Plath's journals. The version I have covers 1950 - 1962 and is edited by Karen V. Kukil and (even though I haven't read other versions) I'd recommend this because it's as true to the original as possible even including spelling mistakes and when she underlined or circled things. Overall it's interesting to read someone's journals but sometimes reading something decades old makes you sad about how slow change can be.



A couple of birthdays ago Will got me a Sega collections game for the ps3 and there are so many games on it I'd only really played the ones I already knew but I tried Kid Chameleon the other day and it's my new favourite game, the plot is you are a cool dude in a virtual reality game that's gone evil and you collect helmets and turn into samurai and knights and even a tank as you go through the levels. It's a lot of fun and even has an almost chibi look to it with your character being all cute and chunky but clearly also a cool dude.
Last night Will came home with two Sylvanian Families blind bags for me!!! I'd seen on their twitter that they'd released these new blind bags but didn't really think about actually ever having any (I have a weird mental block on buying things that we won't go into) but now I have two and they're SO ADORABLE. I have spent a lot of time squealing over Sylvanian Families in toy shops but have never actually owned any, or even held one and I'm so in love with how well made they are and how soft they are. It's a little too much to cope with. The squirrel's arms move and they hold. the. tambourine. !!!!!



This week I got back into painting. It was a while ago now that I did some little paintings and really loved it but then we had a heatwave and working at my desk with stodgy acrylic just wasn't fun anymore but it's cooled down again and the paint (and my head) is behaving much better so I'm back at it. I need a lot more practise, especially at how I want to line them but I'm really enjoying it.

Also: we watched The Boy because someone at Will's work told him a massive spoiler about it and honestly, knowing the spoiler made it much more fun to watch. I stretched my ear up to 6mm after sitting at 5mm for ages because I didn't have the tapers, it went so easily, best stretch ever. I bought a pair of red, platform Vans in the sale and I'm in love. I might stick things on the platform and will definitely be getting colourful laces ^_^

Hope you're having a good day <3 p="">

Painting and Collaging and Tiny Drawings

I made painty messes



and I did some tiny drawings



and it was relaxing and fun.



I made a collage in my diary



and I turned some pieces into ooak badges.

I love to make things, I love being able to use my hands and manipulate materials and then there's a thing that you can look at and hold and have feelings about. It's kind of magic.

Taking Myself On Dates

I've known for a long time that this would be good for me but for various pessimistic reasons I never did anything about it. Not anymore though! I have promised myself dates, I'm going to try and take myself on a date once a week. When we are relaxed and not trying really hard to think about work it opens our brains up to thoughts we wouldn't have otherwise had, these new thoughts and relaxed-ness makes us more creative. Also everyone deserves time off.
Another reason this will be good for me is that I don't leave the house very often and when I do it's very much to get something done. Food shopping, post office, I need a pen. I get out, do the thing, come home. When I'm going to go out I get anxious about it and take a lot of time making sure I'm actually ready to leave the house. While I'm out I'm super aware of myself and everyone around me and it feels horrible. Going outside more often will surely only help me with this.
So I'm taking myself on dates, it doesn't have to be anything special it just has to be not work and truly not work. Not like how I sit on the sofa in the evening feeling guilty that I'm not working and thinking about what work I'll do next and being tired because it's the end of the day. No work, no chores, just date. Once a week for a few hours or whatever. Some time to myself to tune out.
My first date with myself I decided to check out some charity shops I haven't visited in forever. I had some birthday money so I didn't have to risk finding things I couldn't afford and getting sad (something else I'm going to work on, I'll never enjoy shopping centres but I'm going to learn to enjoy wandering round interesting places without spending money) and I had a nice time. I even found some new clothes.

A pair of bright yellow joggers, they look cute with the hems rolled up and I'm going to try and add pockets. And a pink jumper. What I really need is cardigans but big jumpers are a weakness of mine. And then I had a wander round Loose's, a second hand, antique, collectable, jumble wonderland and I just by chance came across these copies of Deadline with Tank Girl on the cover and nearly cried. I couldn't believe it. I have no idea if these issues are important or rubbish but I don't care about such things. Tank Girl is so important to me and this is where she's from and it had never occurred to me to try and find any copies (how are magazines from so long ago still intact?! It always amazes me.) and here these were, just waiting for me! And if they aren't cool enough, one of them still has a fuckin' Booga trading card attached to the front!!!!!! I still can't quite believe it. There's a bit of mould round the edges but I reckon I'll be able to get the worst of it off.
Then I got some snacks and I sat cross legged on a bench with my bike leaned up next to me and I ate my snacks and it was awesome and I came home and my first date was a success. I already feel like it's working (and not just because I bought some cool stuff).

If you want to see me ramble some similar stuff and see the things I bought moving around that's in a weekly vlog video with some other bits and pieces here.

Sketchbook: Dec '17 - Aug '18

I filled up a sketchbook recently and I don't hate it! This is weird for me, I normally get half way through or just over and it starts to drag. I just want to get to the last page and start in a new, more lovely book. Sometimes it's because the drawings I've done aren't doing it for me and sometimes it turns out the book itself wasn't the right choice but I rarely get to the end of a sketchbook without wishing it was already over.
I always get to the end though, can't waste a sketchbook.



This sketchbook wasn't perfect (obviously, considering I don't have access to a "proper" art shop so I have limited choice and also a very small budget and what is perfect anyway?) I was worried that the pages being perforated would be a problem but oddly none of the perforated lines came loose but a few of the actual pages came off the binding. I think how the pages turned over the perforated sections was too harsh and the binding just got worked too much. The paper was fine, white and smooth which I love but sometimes I felt it was a bit smudgy when I was rubbing out. That might be to do with all the other variables though (type of rubber, pencils, pens, my greasy moisturiser hands, thanks eczema). It had a really solid hardback cover and opened nice and flat, I often worked on both sides of the pages and stuck lots of things in too. Overall it was a good book. If you're interested it's a Winsor and Newton Heavy Weight Case Bound Sketchbook, I used the A5 one.



These scans are some of my favourite drawings but there's a flip through video on my youtube if you'd like to see the whole thing. There are so many drawings and ideas in here that I'll be going back to to re-work into something more fancy or some sort of thing to hold in my hands (and maybe put in my shop). I always like remembering the time that the sketchbook spans and this book definitely got me through some stuff, it maybe isn't full of amazing art in itself but I can see how it got me to a new place creatively and I feel like I'm so much better off than when I started it. Although, I started it in the winter so let's hope it wasn't just seasonal affective disorder and I'm actually in a better place! (≧∇≦)

New Year (Birthday) Goals

Having a birthday got me thinking and it occurred to me that it's odd that with the new year comes resolutions and goals and reflection but with birthdays not so much. I mean, it's not really odd, everyone goes through the new year together so there's the companionship (or social pressure) of everyone making goals at the same time which probably helps a lot of people (and makes us hear about it) but I thought a birthday would be a good chance to reflect and focus and junk.




So my birthday goal this year is a good simple thing that I think will make my life better. I'm going to be more chill. It sounds stupid but it's not. I'm a stressed mess and I explain myself too much out of insecurity and I hold myself back in so many ways and I have a nice life and I'm letting it slide past while I think about what I need to do better or what I don't have and while I still want to work towards better things or new things I want to have actually done each day because that's all we've really got.




Everyone has problems and I don't think anyone should be comparing others or themselves in terms of better or worse for anything but I am really lucky. I'm lucky to have been born where I was, I'm lucky to be keeping a roof over my head, in the grand scheme of things I have a safe life and sometimes I feel like I've been wasting it. I just want to fully appreciate what I've got and enjoy it. I want to be more chill. I still want to get angry about injustices, I don't want to be detached from things that are actually important but sometimes things seem important and they don't need to be. I want to be happy and I want to save my energy for where it's needed, whatever that might be.



I want to just live and do whatever I want (in a not selfish way)(ok it's maybe a bit selfish but not like in a harms anyone else way). I care more about being true to myself than about what other people might think. I want to be more chill. This is my goal for my new year ^_^